sneak joint / mission beach – san diego, ca

The Sneak Joint in Mission Beach is definitely a dive bar. No doubts about it. I don’t mind dive bars, really. I think they’re fun, kitschy and sometimes are very, very surprising. Other times… well, other times you realize the meaning of a “dive bar”.

I bought a groupon for this place but I could not for the life of me remember why or what seemed appealing about it. It was on the verge of expiring so Jake and I went down to Mission Beach one weeknight to check it out.

[sneak joint – menu]

Why, yes, there is sort of s mud flap looking girl on the menu. That’s… charming? The menu is pretty basic – just a few burgers and sandwiches. We went on a Thursday night and the special was “All You Can Eat Spaghetti” for $5. Hmm. They also have a $0.25 wing night if you’re into that (I think… on Wednesdays?). All of the waitresses here are dressed in bikini tops and short shorts. I’m sure a certain mindset is really into this idea.

[well drinks]

My groupon was for dinner and drinks for 2 – any two items and two well drinks (or beers). Jake got a rum and coke and I got a whiskey coke. Nothing to write home about.

[spicy chili guacamole burger – with applewood smoked bacon, provolone, guacamole (on the side), jalapenos, & fresno chilies – $12.95]

Jake ordered this Spicy Chili Guacamole Burger – but with the guacamole on the side, which he promptly handed over to me for my burger. He upgraded to tater tots, which costs an extra $1. You can also get sweet potato fries for an extra buck or stick with regular fries or a salad.

The tater tots were pretty good – very nice and crispy with a smooth interior. Slightly greasy, but not too bad. Solid tater tots.

You can’t really see much under all of that melted cheese, but there’s a mess of chili and spicy stuff. Jake thought it was really spicy after just one bite and took all of the jalapenos off before finishing the burger off. He still thought it was too spicy though, even with the jalapenos removed. The jalapeno and fresno chilies are about the same level on the Scoville scale, making this is a fairly spicy burger.

Jake told me he didn’t think I would like the burger at all, due to the spiciness, so I didn’t even try it.

[bacon cheeseburger – applewood smoke bacon, cheddar cheese, dijon mustard on a sadie rose bun – $11.95]

I just got a normal bacon cheeseburger. The burger was juicy and well seasoned and the bacon was done right. I made the sad mistake of putting mustard onto my burger that already had mustard on the bottom. I had to scrape it off since it overpowered the burger. A decent burger but again, nothing to sing about, just average. The regular fries were crispy and hot, but not outstanding.

The one thing that was weird about this place was the seating. Jake and I sat in a corner with a little table that looked like a cabinet (you can see it in the photo above). You can’t put your legs under the table so it’s a bit uncomfortable. Those little round stools? They’re like ottomans – not something you should probably really be sitting on. Jake sat on one of those for about five minutes before complaining. I switched sides with him and after about one minute we switched again to sit on the bench.

Most uncomfortable bench ever! Also, since I couldn’t put my legs under the table, I kind of had to hover on the edge to eat my burger. I suppose we could have moved again but ehhh. No thanks. There wasn’t anything special enough or kitschy enough or awesome enough about this place to make me want to come back. The food was just okay. The service was just okay. The seating sucked. Maybe I would have liked this place if I was 21. And a dude.

The end.

Sneak Joint
3844 Mission Blvd
(between Seagirt Ct & Sunset Ct)
San Diego, CA 92109
(858) 488-8684