I had ice cream this weekend.
I decided that I was going to have it. I originally wanted to go to Salt & Straw but Jake didn’t want to go to Little Italy just for ice cream since parking is a pain in the butt. We ended up going to Trader Joe’s and I got some French Vanilla ice cream, some hot fudge, and some peanuts.
I made myself a little bowl of ice cream (I also put crushed corn chips on top because I’m crazy and I like salty stuff in my ice cream). And I enjoyed my little bowl.
And afterwards, I didn’t feel so good. My blood sugar felt CRAZY, I was feeling terrible and guilty and regretted my life choices and felt like I would spiral out of control again. UGH.
Let’s back up a little though. When I got to Jake’s house, I saw there were these toffee covered crackers (like the saltine crack candy I make every Christmas and give away as gifts).
I ate some of those. And then I ate a few more. They’re kind of addicting that way – they’re sweet and salty and you just want to have some more.
Then we had dinner. I made Jake cook some steak pinwheels with some asparagus and polenta slices. I could have had more greens and some more healthy fats with this meal, but I didn’t because I was already in “weekend mode”.
“Weekend mode” is like “I can do what I want, I don’t have to think about it or be mindful because I was good all week – it’s the WEEKEND! I can have whatever I want!”
[chocolate mousse pumpkins]
Then we went to Trader Joe’s to pick up a few things (for my ice cream sundaes). They had samples of their cute little pumpkin chocolate mousse cakes. The samples were ONE WHOLE PUMPKIN MOUSSE THING. Of course I had one. That started to give me that weird sugar high feeling.
But I ignored it and I had my ice cream.
After the ice cream, Jake and I were lying in bed and I felt gross and icky and terrible and on a sugar high. I sent a message to my health coach about the ice cream incident. And she said:
“Yes! All of this awareness of your feelings is fantastic!”
This response surprised me. I thought she’d be like “Oh no!” or “That’s too bad” or something along the lines of “ruh roh, you messed up” but it wasn’t like that at all. There was no negativity. Because I didn’t “mess up” because food isn’t “good” or “bad”.
I should have been more mindful of what I put into my body. I realized I wasn’t mindful because I was in “WEEKEND MODE” – aka I thought I didn’t have to be mindful because I could “take a break” from being good.
Here’s what I learned: That I ALWAYS need to be mindful of what I’m putting into my body, whether or not it’s the weekend. What I put into my body affects my feelings and the emotions that go with it. This isn’t a “diet”. This is a new lifestyle.
I could have avoided that weird, twitchy sugar high if I had just been paying more attention to my body and what my body was trying to tell me – that I had had enough sugar already that day. I could have avoided the bad, guilty feeling so easily!
The next day, I had some balanced meals.
I had avocado toast with tomatoes, eggs, and fruit for brunch. This tidied me over for hours while we ran errands, went to the mall, and got my tire fixed.
For dinner, I had some mixed bagged salad with lots of kale, brussel sprouts, cabbage, etc mixed with peanuts, sesame sticks, and avocado with chicken tenders.
My blood sugar didn’t feel out of whack. I didn’t feel bad about what I ate, I felt full and satisfied and not off the rails.
I made a mini ice cream sundae for dessert.
Yeah, I put corn chips in it again. With some peanuts and hot fudge.
And I didn’t feel gross or guilty or upset with myself.
I had a healthy, balanced meal and life is about enjoying things. This is a lifestyle change for me. Not all or nothing! I have to re-learn how to enjoy things without feeling bad or guilty for having them. Moderation and being mindful and listening to my body is key.